It does listen

Not always answering at the right time, but the universe does listen. "Putting out there" your dreams or your aspirations only brings you closer to them. Stating with clear intentions what, where, and how you would like your desires to manifest. Make sure to be clear. I have been meditating almost every morning that I have been here. I have been praying under the stars almost every night that I have been here. I am searching. Trying to find what my heart, soul, body, and mind need. Looking for what to do with myself. What is the next step for me? Where will this person who I am creating go? What will she do? How will she respond to the world? Then opportunity came knocking.  What is strange about that phrase is that it isn't opportunity that is knocking, it is you! At least this is how I feel about it now. Knock, Knock! I am calling out to what may come. Waiting for... let just say waiting. Who's there? Here is the tough question, who is there? I mean that is a response that really takes some thought. You only have moment to put a short statement that sums up who you are. Is it just your name? I think not. Make your demand with all you know is true and wait for the door to open. Once the door is open it is your choice to walk through it or not. It may not be the most convenient time or it might not be the exact location you where thinking of, the point is that it is there for you. It is almost hard to accept the fact of that what you actually want is available. I have to try not sabotage myself. We all know what I am talking about. Yes, I am a little unsure what will come if this opportunity is fruitful. But that doesn't mean I need to accept it, I could turn it down, just like I have done with many things in the past, because I was worried of what that experience would do to me, or where it would bring me. But when will I face my insecurity of a challenge that involves commitment, where I don't have the all of the control. Is that time now? What will come of my prior life? Are those who were there for me before still going to be there? Is that too much to ask, yes I think. I just need to put my best foot forward and be patient. It is funny how much patience achieves. You usually hear be more proactive, go forward, try harder and give it your all. But it is patience that achieves more than force. It is the relaxed calm centered opponent that will have victory. Even if I am not selected, I will have faced a portion of my insecurities just by applying. So I am in the process of applying. I am starting to face the fact that I could possibly have something that I want. It is a strange feeling, yet I feel honored at the same time.